Have you noticed that most relapse are made from members who are survivors of sexual/physical abuse? And when they do relapse, they are told it is because they are not honest with themselves or they do not put in practice what the 12 steps program teaches or they do not do enough meetings, etc...
Trauma victims develops a coping mechanism in order to survive. For many of them, drugs, alcohol gambling becomes a necessity. They have to cope because they haven't yet been able to process the traumatic events. They are suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
When such a person joins an anonymous group, they are told to forgive and ask for forgiveness. They are told to let God help them. (Let go and let God) They are told to work on their character defects. Stop blaming others and take responsibility for their action. Work the 12 steps, do a moral inventory of their life, etc...
What is wrong here? The person stops the coping mechanism ( alcohol, drugs, gambling) and instead of working on their emotions and feelings that brought them to their addiction they are told to work the program. This is a major mistake because survivors of abuse have to work on their feelings and emotions in order to get better. As already discussed, the method that helps the most seems to be EMDR.
The 12 steps program is applied to everyone-as if there was one magical answer, one truth for everyone. No matter if you were victimized or an abuser-the answer is the 12 steps program. I can see an aggressor being ask to look at his character defects or ask for forgiveness to the people he hurt or do a moral inventory of his life. ( But I haven't met one psychopath interested in doing this!) But a victim should never ever have to be put in that role. Abuse is always the fault of the abuser, never the fault of the survivor.
Unfortunately, their are many therapists that still promotes the 12 steps programs. I personally think that these so call therapist do more harm than good. Run away from them if you can. Run away from anonymous groups. Find a good EMDR specialist and you will get better, much better. Your coping mechanisms will disappear-forever. It is that simple.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
Why the Slogans? (or platitudes!)
Take it One Day at a Time!
Directions to AA: Just go straight to hell and make a U-turn.
Move closer to AA and move closer to yourself.
Being a part of something is more important than being the center of attention.
We are not reformed drunks–but informed alcoholics.
You will never have to drink again, and will you will never be alone again.
A.A. stands for Attitude Adjustment
AA is not for people who want it or for people who need it....it is for people who do it!
I have become a pupil of A.A. rather than the teacher I thought I was.
Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.
If the cure works, chances are, you have the disease.
Once you are a pickle, you can't be a cucumber. But once you are a pickle, you can be a newcomer.
The three most dangerous words for an alcoholic-"I've been thinking"
We are not bad people becoming good, but sick people becoming well.
Your disease progresses even when you are not drinking.
Alcoholism is a self-diagnosed disease.
Alcoholism is a physical compulsion coupled with a mental obsession.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change
the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Who you see here, what you hear here, let it stay here.
Keep an attitude of gratitude.
To attract the right person, become the right person.
Believing in God Beats Our Old Knowledge.
You spot it, you got it.
If you are too busy to pray, you are too busy.
Everything after "but" is BS.
If you want to find out what your character defects are, fall in love.
Keep coming back, it works!
We are not different from others, God just made us special.
Fake it 'til you make it.
The number one way to relieve pain is to forgive.
Going to any length means forgiving the person who has injured you the most.
Insanity is the seeming inability to learn from past mistakes.
A job is something that happens to you on the way to a meeting.
K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid.
Many meetings, many chances. A few meetings, a few chances. No meetings, no chance.
When you are in a meeting, your disease is outside doing push-ups.
Is it odd, or is it God?
Don't worry, if you don't get the program right away, it will get you.
Don't quit before the miracle happens.
RECOVERY IS SIMPLE EAT,SLEEP,WORK THE STEPS
The further you are from your last drink, the closer you are to the next one.
The process is perfect; let it work.
Shut up, show up and say "yes."
There are hundreds more. They become Mantras, and members always quotes them when sharing. Members are not encouraged to think outside the 12 steps.
The basic ideas are always the same; Higher Power or God, and meetings meetings meetings. Does that not sound like a cult to you?
Beliefs is a personnal matter. You can be a believer or an atheist and still be an addict. The anonymous meeting will try to convince you that you need to believe in order to get better. It is the only way! Do not fall into the cult trap. As I previously explained, try getting better via EMDR. It is that simple.
Forgiveness is another false belief. It is a personnal choice, but has absolutely no bearring on wether you will be able to overcome the addiction.
Directions to AA: Just go straight to hell and make a U-turn.
Move closer to AA and move closer to yourself.
Being a part of something is more important than being the center of attention.
We are not reformed drunks–but informed alcoholics.
You will never have to drink again, and will you will never be alone again.
A.A. stands for Attitude Adjustment
AA is not for people who want it or for people who need it....it is for people who do it!
I have become a pupil of A.A. rather than the teacher I thought I was.
Life is 10% what you make it and 90% how you take it.
If the cure works, chances are, you have the disease.
Once you are a pickle, you can't be a cucumber. But once you are a pickle, you can be a newcomer.
The three most dangerous words for an alcoholic-"I've been thinking"
We are not bad people becoming good, but sick people becoming well.
Your disease progresses even when you are not drinking.
Alcoholism is a self-diagnosed disease.
Alcoholism is a physical compulsion coupled with a mental obsession.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change
the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
Who you see here, what you hear here, let it stay here.
Keep an attitude of gratitude.
To attract the right person, become the right person.
Believing in God Beats Our Old Knowledge.
You spot it, you got it.
If you are too busy to pray, you are too busy.
Everything after "but" is BS.
If you want to find out what your character defects are, fall in love.
Keep coming back, it works!
We are not different from others, God just made us special.
Fake it 'til you make it.
The number one way to relieve pain is to forgive.
Going to any length means forgiving the person who has injured you the most.
Insanity is the seeming inability to learn from past mistakes.
A job is something that happens to you on the way to a meeting.
K.I.S.S.: Keep It Simple, Stupid.
Many meetings, many chances. A few meetings, a few chances. No meetings, no chance.
When you are in a meeting, your disease is outside doing push-ups.
Is it odd, or is it God?
Don't worry, if you don't get the program right away, it will get you.
Don't quit before the miracle happens.
RECOVERY IS SIMPLE EAT,SLEEP,WORK THE STEPS
The further you are from your last drink, the closer you are to the next one.
The process is perfect; let it work.
Shut up, show up and say "yes."
There are hundreds more. They become Mantras, and members always quotes them when sharing. Members are not encouraged to think outside the 12 steps.
The basic ideas are always the same; Higher Power or God, and meetings meetings meetings. Does that not sound like a cult to you?
Beliefs is a personnal matter. You can be a believer or an atheist and still be an addict. The anonymous meeting will try to convince you that you need to believe in order to get better. It is the only way! Do not fall into the cult trap. As I previously explained, try getting better via EMDR. It is that simple.
Forgiveness is another false belief. It is a personnal choice, but has absolutely no bearring on wether you will be able to overcome the addiction.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Anonymous Groups!
If you are a member of an anonymous group and you are happy, please do not read the following. I won't allow any disrespectful comments either for or against anonymous 12 steps programs. I am just interested in any scientific proof that these groups are beneficial to someone suffering from an addiction. The key word here is "scientific"!
First of all, let me say that Carl Jung did not support any 12 steps program.
The origin of the 12 steps program is from an early 20th century cult called The Oxford Group. Anonymous groups are just another form of a protestant type religion. Higher power, character defects, forgiveness are all terms used in another era. It is incredible that they are still being used today! Anonymous groups have nothing to do with sciences. They are ineffective, and in some case dangerous. I will often come back to the danger of anonymous groups and why they do not work. But please, never forget, you are NOT powerless over your addiction and your addiction is NOT a disease.
First of all, let me say that Carl Jung did not support any 12 steps program.
The origin of the 12 steps program is from an early 20th century cult called The Oxford Group. Anonymous groups are just another form of a protestant type religion. Higher power, character defects, forgiveness are all terms used in another era. It is incredible that they are still being used today! Anonymous groups have nothing to do with sciences. They are ineffective, and in some case dangerous. I will often come back to the danger of anonymous groups and why they do not work. But please, never forget, you are NOT powerless over your addiction and your addiction is NOT a disease.
EMDR
If you have an addiction, you very probably are suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. An addicition is often a manifestation of the PTSD. Other manifestations are numbing of body, sensation of needles, out of body experiences and others.
EMDR;
http://www.emdria.org/
Under supervision of qualified EMDR therapist, you will be able to reprocess the traumatic experience for the first time. This process will release you from the pain of the experience. You might even experience a "rebirth". I magine living without the guilt, or fright or anger for the first time of your life.
You will change, and this relatively fast. You will no longer suffer from PTSD. You will be released from your addiction.
It is that simple. You will no longer live in a survival mode.
EMDR;
http://www.emdria.org/
Under supervision of qualified EMDR therapist, you will be able to reprocess the traumatic experience for the first time. This process will release you from the pain of the experience. You might even experience a "rebirth". I magine living without the guilt, or fright or anger for the first time of your life.
You will change, and this relatively fast. You will no longer suffer from PTSD. You will be released from your addiction.
It is that simple. You will no longer live in a survival mode.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
What can you do if you suffer from PTSD?
The American Psychological Association recognizes 3 methods to treat PTSD.
1-Anti-depressants, which in some cases are necessary and does help when needed.
2-Cognitive Therapy which take a long time and is relatively efficient.
3-Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing ( EMDR ) is by far the best and quickest technique.
My next blog will deal with EMDR, an amazing technique.
1-Anti-depressants, which in some cases are necessary and does help when needed.
2-Cognitive Therapy which take a long time and is relatively efficient.
3-Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing ( EMDR ) is by far the best and quickest technique.
My next blog will deal with EMDR, an amazing technique.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder!
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
Most addiction are manifestations of PTSD. A traumatic event invariably hides frozen in the brain of most addicts. Human beings have incredible brains. The brain will not allow an traumatic event to be processed. It will freeze the experience in a specific section-the emotional side. This is a survival adaptive behavior that is essential in order to survive a traumatic event. For example, children that were exposed by there parents to the 9/11 attacks, where parents would sit down to discuss what had happenned, are worst off than children that did not discuss the horrific event.
A traumatic event can occur at any time in life. A few examples are; car accident, sexual, physical and emotional abuse, divorce, lost of job, death of a love one, etc...
Look at your life and identify a traumatic event, if you can. If this is not possible, if it hurts too much, do not do it. There is a very good professional technique that was developped recently to help you if you are suffering from PTSD.
Most addiction are manifestations of PTSD. A traumatic event invariably hides frozen in the brain of most addicts. Human beings have incredible brains. The brain will not allow an traumatic event to be processed. It will freeze the experience in a specific section-the emotional side. This is a survival adaptive behavior that is essential in order to survive a traumatic event. For example, children that were exposed by there parents to the 9/11 attacks, where parents would sit down to discuss what had happenned, are worst off than children that did not discuss the horrific event.
A traumatic event can occur at any time in life. A few examples are; car accident, sexual, physical and emotional abuse, divorce, lost of job, death of a love one, etc...
Look at your life and identify a traumatic event, if you can. If this is not possible, if it hurts too much, do not do it. There is a very good professional technique that was developped recently to help you if you are suffering from PTSD.
Behavior is Purposeful!
I am now seeing the addiction very differently. It is NOT a disease. It is a mental disorder that can last a lifetime if not treated. An addict is not powerless. An addict automatically falls back to what will give a quick release to any stressfull situation. An addict is in a surviving mode.
Why? What is happenning to the brain? Why the need for a quick release?
Why? What is happenning to the brain? Why the need for a quick release?
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